Rant & Reason

Have you ever wondered why one of the most common responses to sexual assault allegations is a "ruin my reputation" response? Speaking truth to power is no easy game to play. There are three kinds of responses that you could get.  The first is a more mature: I didn't realize I was doing that and I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it better? A rare one.  The second, too: I know I did that and I am ashamed. I was hoping it won't come up and I'm sorry. What can I do to help you achieve closure? An equally rare one.  The third most common one is: You are ruining my reputation. It is false accusation and I am innocent. This, of course, is before the drama that ensues. It's an unlikely escalation that should be a straight forward denial. What's the need to complain about a ruined reputation all of a sudden? It's also a a very defensive response.  This is because the accused knows, regardless of their actual innocence or guilt, that the accusa...

Hi there! I would like to have your consent for a very important conversation. Before you give it, I would like to establish what exactly I mean by the word.  It may seem that I'm labouring my point a bit much.  There's way less talk and much less action when it comes to sexual consent than there needs to be.  I know that the length can kill the mood but I'll try to make the ride worth it. Why is this conversation important right here and now? Apart from it being an issue of justice to the individual, governments and the courts of law in India have taken turns in making it clear that marital rape is not a crime i.e. they believe marriage implies consent as a one-time signoff, blindly and without question. This drives home the straight point that a bunch of us believe, in our heart of hearts, that marriage is all about an absolute right to sex. It is quite possible that they're right. The only question that remains is who's right is it? Certainly not only or...

If there was a wanted poster out for you that aligned with your life, as it is now, would it be for something that you'd get punished for (like a crime), or something that you would be kept for (like a prize)? Would the sheriff in town seek to eliminate your threat, or would he be looking for you because he really needs your help? In a world where life is work-defined, we all have one of these wanted posters out for us. If we don't, we are in the bottom feed that nobody wants to eat out of.  It's like our "worth".  Even if we don't define ourselves externally (i.e. based on how much use we are to other people), a healthy symbiotic relationship with the world demands that we should have something good enough to offer that warrants our own wanted poster to be out by someone. We're after all people of the same Universe or sub-universe wherever we live. In a happy world, we shouldn't be aliens in our own society. Hopefully, they don't want to find us b...

If you're a Netflix binger, you'll find a few similarities in most of the highly watched shows, one being imperfect people. One character goes all out for another character despite their clear and apparent flaws and screwups (some whom they don't ever give up on). Entire shows are based on them forgiving someone for what are clearly gross excesses, repeatedly. Arguably, this shows the simpler fragile human sides in us that so need patience, compassion, and kindness to become our best selves - so much that the world (and the other people in it) can burn till the random individual we happen to love and care about gets there.  We also see the opposite, punishing those who don't stay in line so that chaos is avoided - trying to make people perfect to the collective design: perfect institutions. They keep order so that things don't fall apart (which is necessary to some extent). These are permanent, static cornerstones of society that hold us together - law, parenthood, ...

When I talk with people of other persuasions than me, I get a common type of answer. People who have minor differences in religious views with mine say, "Go and ask God. He will tell you". People with whom I have political differences, after discussing public information about an issue, says, "We can go back and forth on this. Let's wait and see." It's not an open-minded let's wait and see . It's a just wait and you'll see perfectly what I mean. I don't understand it myself, but hey, when you see you'll just know . I'd be over the moon if all the answers we ever wanted fell straight from the sky and made perfect sense in a second, but let's look at a some actual realities that have to be dealt with till that happens. I know the whole world is in search of the Truth, about everything - life, love, God, health, and every other thing that spins life safely on its axis. We desperately want to know enough so that we don't have to ...

All of our lives we draw lines, some very clearly and some not. One of these lines that we draw so very often, that's anything but thin, defines the sacred on one side, and profane on the other. Every realm of ideas - religion, nationalism, identity, and so many more - that we engage in passionately has this line that demarcates these two. The only exceptions: a precious few that dare to walk where angels fear to tread (a fear that defines the rest) Sacred: Untouchable, holy, a god-level we will never reach which we should aspire to and revere.  Profane: Having the audacity to attempt to reach the sacred level and anything remotely beyond that line of thought and action In usage If you grew up obsessed with a particular band, you will always think their music is "sacred" i.e. untouchable, even if the latest one on the scene is far better by a far stretch of the imagination. Any attempt to decry your favourite band is plain sacrilege, at least to you....

Discipline is what our lives begin with and lead into. We are driven into it from the day we're born: a long set of rules that are 'good' for us. It starts when we're way young. Fold the blanket. Do the chores. Get up regardless at a certain early hour, and many more. The theme follows through with set times using set things that are sold to (or enforced on) us. Fast forward and you'll find that these habits enable you to easily fit into a set world (which explains the "good" thing about them). It seems that the whole idea is to fall in line early so that we don't have a tough time fitting in when we need to later. It helps us get up early for school/college/work, keeps our rooms neat, and makes better use of our time and resources, and they don't just stop there. This kind of order also brings in some form of justice and merit - like rewarding the trouble taken to be early with first come first serve where people actually keep to queues. It allow...