My precious: Speaking truth to power

Have you ever wondered why one of the most common responses to sexual assault allegations is a "ruin my reputation" response? Speaking truth to power is no easy game to play. There are three kinds of responses that you could get. 

The first is a more mature: I didn't realize I was doing that and I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it better? A rare one. 

The second, too: I know I did that and I am ashamed. I was hoping it won't come up and I'm sorry. What can I do to help you achieve closure? An equally rare one. 

The third most common one is: You are ruining my reputation. It is false accusation and I am innocent. This, of course, is before the drama that ensues. It's an unlikely escalation that should be a straight forward denial. What's the need to complain about a ruined reputation all of a sudden? It's also a a very defensive response. 

This is because the accused knows, regardless of their actual innocence or guilt, that the accusation puts them into a very dark category of human - one they would never want to be in. It's so repulsive that they have to escalate, vehemently deny and claim victimhood from it. There are also versions of outsiders support to this of course: "He/she would never do that", "That is so unlike him", etc. 

These standard three responses system are not only limited to sexual assault. Count in the list any accusations from embezzlement to rape to blame for bad parenting even. There's an easier way to understand this category. 

For the Harry Potter generation, think of a horcruxes. For a Lord of the Rings generation, think of The Ring but in tiny little pieces. They both represent power. And you find these horcruxes, or tiny ring pieces, spread all over the place. Anyone who ends up with a piece gets the power but you happen to find them only with certain people - parents, teachers, policemen, Government, religious teachers etc. 

All these people happen to hold incredible power with them. When you question the very nature of their power, it shakes up their insides and causes a revolt for the third reaction to come about instantly. Do most of them mean it? Highly unlikely. They themselves have never been to the depths their power holds but yet they hold all of that in their hands. 

Should they know they weild that power? Totally! Because without realising that, they swing it around like it will hit somebody in the face and take out an eye, or a life instead. 

There's a sure shot way to spot them though. Everytime it takes a simple sensible statement to rile somebody up and get all defensive in a nanosecond, you know you've hit the sweet spot. You know they're going to hold to that precious for dear life till it eats them up inside! 

Another sureshot way to find out if you are plugged into power is by checking if you are the one who gets riled up the very instant you're power is challenged with a defensive response. Your response shows that you yourself fear the deepest depths of the power you (don't know you) hold and it holds you hostage. Is that true for you? 

Here's to more of speaking truth to power and understanding the power that controls us more than we control it!