Rant & Reason

Have you ever wondered why one of the most common responses to sexual assault allegations is a "ruin my reputation" response? Speaking truth to power is no easy game to play. There are three kinds of responses that you could get.  The first is a more mature: I didn't realize I was doing that and I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it better? A rare one.  The second, too: I know I did that and I am ashamed. I was hoping it won't come up and I'm sorry. What can I do to help you achieve closure? An equally rare one.  The third most common one is: You are ruining my reputation. It is false accusation and I am innocent. This, of course, is before the drama that ensues. It's an unlikely escalation that should be a straight forward denial. What's the need to complain about a ruined reputation all of a sudden? It's also a a very defensive response.  This is because the accused knows, regardless of their actual innocence or guilt, that the accusa

Hi there! I would like to have your consent for a very important conversation. Before you give it, I would like to establish what exactly I mean by the word.  It may seem that I'm labouring my point a bit much.  There's way less talk and much less action when it comes to sexual consent than there needs to be.  I know that the length can kill the mood but I'll try to make the ride worth it. Why is this conversation important right here and now? Apart from it being an issue of justice to the individual, governments and the courts of law in India have taken turns in making it clear that marital rape is not a crime i.e. they believe marriage implies consent as a one-time signoff, blindly and without question. This drives home the straight point that a bunch of us believe, in our heart of hearts, that marriage is all about an absolute right to sex. It is quite possible that they're right. The only question that remains is who's right is it? Certainly not only or just abo

If there was a wanted poster out for you that aligned with your life, as it is now, would it be for something that you'd get punished for (like a crime), or something that you would be kept for (like a prize)? Would the sheriff in town seek to eliminate your threat, or would he be looking for you because he really needs your help? In a world where life is work-defined, we all have one of these wanted posters out for us. If we don't, we are in the bottom feed that nobody wants to eat out of.  It's like our "worth".  Even if we don't define ourselves externally (i.e. based on how much use we are to other people), a healthy symbiotic relationship with the world demands that we should have something good enough to offer that warrants our own wanted poster to be out by someone. We're after all people of the same Universe or sub-universe wherever we live. In a happy world, we shouldn't be aliens in our own society. Hopefully, they don't want to find us b

If you're a Netflix binger, you'll find a few similarities in most of the highly watched shows, one being imperfect people. One character goes all out for another character despite their clear and apparent flaws and screwups (some whom they don't ever give up on). Entire shows are based on them forgiving someone for what are clearly gross excesses, repeatedly. Arguably, this shows the simpler fragile human sides in us that so need patience, compassion, and kindness to become our best selves - so much that the world (and the other people in it) can burn till the random individual we happen to love and care about gets there.  We also see the opposite, punishing those who don't stay in line so that chaos is avoided - trying to make people perfect to the collective design: perfect institutions. They keep order so that things don't fall apart (which is necessary to some extent). These are permanent, static cornerstones of society that hold us together - law, parenthood,

When I talk with people of other persuasions than me, I get a common type of answer. People who have minor differences in religious views with mine say, "Go and ask God. He will tell you". People with whom I have political differences, after discussing public information about an issue, says, "We can go back and forth on this. Let's wait and see." It's not an open-minded let's wait and see . It's a just wait and you'll see perfectly what I mean. I don't understand it myself, but hey, when you see you'll just know . I'd be over the moon if all the answers we ever wanted fell straight from the sky and made perfect sense in a second, but let's look at a some actual realities that have to be dealt with till that happens. I know the whole world is in search of the Truth, about everything - life, love, God, health, and every other thing that spins life safely on its axis. We desperately want to know enough so that we don't have to